The M Sue Diaries
by One PenName to Rule Them All
Summary: I never understood the full extent of the power of Mary-Sues... She looked so sad, and she promised she'd be nice if I would give her Legolas... Well, at least I'm the author of this story, that got to mean something, I hope...
1. Prologue and a Few Negotiations

**Disclaimer: Nope, not Tolkien, in this story I'm something better - I am God (no offence) and therefore I own nothing but control all.**

**AN: I know my English isn't the best and neither is my memory of the book canon (which I have read), so if you find any mistakes, please tell me and I'll fix them as fast as I can.**

Prologue and a Few Negotiations

Author (Rachel) POV:

Before I start the story, let me tell you a few things about myself; I have blue eyes and black hair, I'm very tall (more than 170 cm) and, sadly, have very big feet and glasses. I'm 16, and I like to read and write (obviously…). Oh! And my name is Rachel Cohen.

It all started last year, after I got accepted to "The Writers' Boarding School for Writing Fanfiction" (WBSWF), naturally I was very excited to be learning at such a good school for writing with such a reputation (and away from home also!).

The school has students from 10th to 12th grade (which is the age of high school if you live in the right place), the 11th and 12th graders know what Mary-Sues are, some of the 10th graders also, but I didn't and that was my first mistake.

Two of the most liked classes were 'How to Manage Your Plot', there we learned about plot holes and their danger, and 'Spelling and Grammar' in which we learned how to… do I really need to elaborate? However, the favorite class was with no doubt 'OC how to?' in this class we read a lot, wrote a lot and the best part – we had lots of field trips. After the first semester all knew what are Mary-Sues, and most understood their power and feared them, but I didn't and that was my second mistake.

When the second semester started, we were all very excited to learn that we were going to have another field trip, to the M.S. Factory. Of course, we had an entire lesson which prepared us to it, the dangers, what to avoid, and basically how to visit a Mary-Sue factory and come out with everything intact (relatively), I fell asleep in that lesson and that was my third mistake.

They say third time a charm… But that wasn't the last mistake neither it was the worst.

We went into the factory, it was pink and glittery and Justin Bieber's music played in the background, all together, the effect was quite terrible. We saw no one until we got to the main room, where the Sue-queen dwelled. Have you ever seen the inside of an ant hive? It was the same, Mary Sues guarding, working all the while singing beautifully and looking drop-dead gorgeous. The Gary Stus lounged around the Sue-queen and served her while she made more of those Satan's spawns, the newborns came out as grown-ups and looking just as perfect as the rest of them. Every once in a while a newborn Sue or Stu replaced a working one, the replaced Sue (or Stu) want with the other newborns to be sold to their new masters – the Suethors.

After we watched how they were made we want to the shopping square, the Suethors were miserable creatures at their best and at their worst they were rabid fangirls. I looked at the shops, they were sorted to canons and to genres; in the Harry Potter section you could find vampires, 5th Marauderettes, twins of Harry and more… In the Twilight section you could find, umm, well Bella Swan. I went to the LotR section, long ago I've decided that if I had to be a nerd then at least I'll belong to the best genre of nerds, Middle Earth ones!

I was horrified, it was the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed. Mary-Sues everywhere, their long, waist length shimmering as a waterfall, beautiful as dawn (or night) hair that changed color every few seconds, their clear, deep, piercing beautiful eyes shimmering in the light. Every kind of a LotR Mary-Sue you've ever encountered and mourned it was there and no sign of canon. I was about to get away from this section, but then I saw another Mary-Sue, different from the others, sitting quietly and sadly in the corner alone, she didn't look like she was capable of causing the end of the world, and, you know… What if Mary Sues didn't want to be Mary-Sues? Did they even have any choice? I felt for her, and that was my fourth mistake.

Coming to talk to her and sitting next to her – fifth.

Making the deal – sixth.

But I'm going ahead of the story… 'How to Manage Your Plot' teacher won't approve.

Anyway, I sat next to her:" Is everything alright?" I asked her

She shook her head, "What's wrong?"

"I have been in the shop for so long and no one wants me! All the others went into stories and found true love, all, except me!" She cried melodically, still managing to look extraordinary beautiful.

What can I say, I felt sorry for her and wanted to help, which would explain what I said next,

"If you want, I can write a story for you…"

"Really?" She said with a Hopeful glance, with tears glimmering in her eyes.

Now I realized my mistake, "Umm, yes but there are a few terms and conditions, you know, I can't be Suethor…"

"I'll do everything! I just want my very own story!" I noticed her blue eyes and blue hair, wait what? Wasn't she a blond with green eyes when our conversation started?

After a few minutes I learned a few things about this M. Sue I just met, her name is Luthian Bellaran Laura Melody Hunter (but you can call her Mel), she is my age (yay.), she can do anything she wants and her favorite look is having purple hair and yellow catlike eyes, which was no deal. In the end after long time of negotiations we settled all the details and Made Mel less of a Mary-Sue. I didn't know how strong Mary-Sue power is and that was my seventh mistake.

Well, some people say seven is a magical number, and magic is good, right?

**First fic, please review! *puppy eyes* (no one can stand the power of the puppy eyes!)**


	2. A (Not So) Long Expected Fanfic

Disclaimer:

Mel – "She might look like an old man but she isn't, and therefore, owns nothing except two 16 years old girls."

I'm so lucky…

A (Not So) Long Expected Fanfic

"Why are you still reading this stupid Fanfiction?" Mel asked, looking at Rachel with distaste. They sat in the attic, a gloomy and dusty place in the WBSWF, in which no one ever visited if they could help it. Therefore, it was the perfect place to hide a Sue.

"I mean, it's a terribly long story, and this main character Penny? She is annoying, and stupid, and she can't do anything right! The romance is pathetic, it's nearly the end of the story and they still haven't proclaimed their undying love to each other!"

It was a week after the field trip and Rachel still hasn't started the fanfic, a fact Mel usually brought up.

"I confess, I sometimes get annoyed at some aspects of Penny's character, but that is exactly the point! She isn't perfect! And the romance is wonderful!" Rachel decided to answer Mel at last, in defense of the story she read. This argument wasn't the first on this subject and certainly wouldn't be the last.

"But when will you start my story?" Mel whined beautifully and gracefully, "you promised!"

The following week found Rachel in the library, looking for the best and easiest way to send a character inside a canon world. Something, that as a student she wasn't allowed to do. She searched hundreds (no more than a dozen or two) of books until she found just the right spell for the situation (she got lazy), moving her glasses up her nose she reread the spell and copied it to her notebook.

_In order to get a character into an already exists story one should follow these four easy steps. Firstly, acquire the character. Secondly, acquire the book. Thirdly, brew the potion (the making of which will be explained below) and let your character drink it no more than an hour before you send her or him away and the last thing to do is read to the character (the place and time of arriving will be controlled by the part you will be reading). Please note that only experienced writers are authorized to send characters into an already written canon._

All seemed easy enough to Rachel, though she worried a bit about the fourth part. In school they have just started learning how to use magic to read and write, and she wasn't sure she was capable of that kind of strong language magic. Her Language magic wasn't even that strong, no more than average and in some aspects even less. In the 60 years since 'The Lord of the Rings' was written evolution has taken its course in one big jump (or maybe it was an ability long forgotten?) and humanity discovered the Language magic. The Language magic given all the population a few abilities, such as reading characters in and out of a story, having a basic understanding of others languages also, the most treasured one; Being able to charm write and read, those particularly talented or professional at charm reading or writing, could make the story come alive around you. After that discovery, books became popular once more. With all those benefits came also the drawbacks, a reckless Language Magic could and have brought people to their early graves, a human falling into a story, a character coming out in the wrong moment, a wrong character coming out and more… And that is why the school and more of its like were founded – to guide the young, especially the young with the ambitions to be an author.

It has taken another week to complete the potion, and at last, everything was ready. Mel was euphoric, Rachel wasn't. They started the spell that will take Luthian Bellaran Laura Melody Hunter to Middle-Earth, "Character? Check."

"Why do you even need to check when I'm this beautiful? More than Luthian, Arwen and Galadriel put together you know…"

"Shut up. Lord of the Rings? Check, vile disgusting potion that I'm not the one who drinks it? Check. Are you ready, Mary S-, ah, Mel?" Rachel was nervous to say the least, and was less patient towards Mel and her attitude than usual, but she still couldn't resist a few verbal jabs towards her. Mel sent her an annoyed look and drank the potion, only to look green, losing for a second her Mary-Sue perfect look as she tried to overcome the taste. Smirking, Rachel began to read 'The Council of Elrond'.

It was a beautiful day, the birds singing, the sky blue, it was a good day, Legolas decided. He rode with two of his kin, from Mirkwood to The Last Homely House in Rivendell. Legolas was looking forward to visit Imladris even if the nature of said visit was for less than happy circumstances. They have set out from Mirkwood long ago and the journey was a quiet one, they rode hard and scarcely spoke. Suddenly, a sound, or the lack of it bolted Legolas out of his musing and made him aware of his surroundings. Something was wrong, an evil presence in the woods. "Lord Ainron, Lord Sidhdur, do you feel it? I sense evil near us."

Ainron, the younger of the three of no more than a millennia, shook his head, he was young and his senses could be easily fooled. Sidhdur, was a different case, he advised Oropher years before the latter died and his spider senses, umm… elf senses were very acute and accurate, his face were grim. "My prince, in all my years I have never sensed an evil this great, we cannot leave it here undisturbed, we must dispose of it." Legolas nodded. He dismounted his horse and gestured for the others to follow him. Like hobbits, elves can go unseen and unheard when they wish it, which allowed them to reach the evil without it noticing. But they couldn't see it. The clearing was green and full of flowers, it was perhaps the most beautiful place in Imladris, but they still couldn't see the evil they have sensed. In the middle of the clearing, was a body of a female, unconscious? Or dead? Legolas couldn't tell, but if she was alive, they needed to bring her to Rivendell, a lady, all alone in the woods and these days it would be a folly to blindly trust strangers, Elrond would want to question her.

_Hey! They are supposed to love me! Not question me!_

_Just making it realistic, so would you mind going unconscious again?_

_I hate you._

_The feeling's mutual._

_I'll make you pay, if you don't make my story right._

_Dream on._

Legolas approached the stranger, he was met with an Elleth, she seemed deem, as if she was fading. _Hey-!_

_ Shut up! And let me finish! You're a bloody character show me some __**respect!**_

Legolas approached the stranger, he was met with an Elleth, she seemed deem, as if she was fading. She was alive, her hair was a washed red, her skin sickly white, almost green. "My Lords! 'Tis an Elleth, she appears to be gravely ill, we must take her to Lord Elrond, and I believe she is fading!" When he took her in his arms, she opened her eyes weakly, they were brown and unseeing, at least, unseeing the things that were real. "Don't worry, my Lady, we will take you to Lord Elrond, he is one of the best healers of our people, he will heal." Legolas told her softly, he didn't think she understood him, but she relaxed and closed her eyes.

They rode for a few hours, she was sitting in front of Legolas which held her to make sure she wouldn't fall off the horse. When they stopped and started to build their camp she awoke. Legolas noticed her and said something she didn't understand, he said another thing and asked another question, and another, every question in another language, was her hearing damaged?

_Hey! Hey! Stop! What's the matter with you?! Why can't I understand Legolas?!_

_Do you speak Sindarin? Silvan? Quenya? Westron? Some other language from Middle Earth?_

_No…_

_So you can't understand them._

_NO! Rachel fell and watched the words writing themselves in horror._

"I am sorry my Lord, I was not fully awaken, would you repeat your question?" The Lady elf asked sweetly, "But of course! I am very glad to see you awake and hear you speak, I am Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil king of Mirkwood, I am pleased to make you acquaintance Lady…?"

"Luthian Bellaran Laura Melody Hunter" She said, Legolas gaped at her "Though, you can call me Melody, or Mel."

"Very well, Lady Melody, please meet my companions the Lords Ainron and Sidhdur, we were traveling to the house of Elrond, we found you along the way and we want you to accompany us. Do tell, what were you doing in Imladris all by yourself?"

Mel started to panic, she didn't have a cover story yet! Thinking fast, she came up with the best one she could. "I…I am not sure, I cannot remember, I think I was taken away from this world and now sent back, but I cannot remember why or how or who! I am so very sorry my Lords." Mel said, she was such a good actor! They all bought it, her shaky breaths, the tears, the stuttering, all in the right place!

The three Mirkwood elves shared glances, the expression on their faces ranging from suspicious to curious to concerned. At last, it was Ainron who said: "Don't worry Lady Melody, we will reach the Last Homely House and Lord Elrond will surly know what to make of it."

"… so you have to use the right spell when you're sending an OC into canon. You have to make sure you make it an **alternative** canon, if you don't you could ruin the book's universe. The only possible way to save canon after that, is making sure all the main events happen as they should, if Harry knows the cup is a portkey, Boromir doesn't die or Bella does, the canon dies, it collapses into itself, killing everything and everyone in there. That why you should always…." Rachel stared at the teacher, fear grasping her, she didn't make an alternative canon! She unleashed a Mary-Sue in her favorite book! If the book died, it would be all her fault.

"Another dangerous thing is to not know the extents of your character's power compared to yours. A character stronger than you can change the story, instead of only acting and reacting to the world the character will be able to change it, and not all characters are good. In the extreme, the character can suck you into canon and you all know that when you are in canon, you might die. Unless, of course, you fall into Pride and Prejudice and a family is taking pity on you and letting you live them, but if not… Think about falling unarmed into a middle of a battle. Hello Headmaster, is there something you need?"

"Yes, I need to speak to Rachel Cohen, I trust that you'll excuse her until the end of the lesson?" Headmaster Greyson asked, his face serious and solemn.

"Yes, yes, of course, take your things Miss Cohen and you need to complete anything you miss."

Rachel followed the Headmaster in silence, neither talked when they made their way to his office. The Headmaster's office was colored with warm colors, making the room seem warm, but Rachel didn't feel the warmth and after Headmaster Greyson started talking she felt as if all her warmth was leaving her. "Miss Cohen, I believe it was you that sent a Mary-Sue into a canon? Not an alternative one?"

"Yes sir" Rachel studied the floor,

"Is she stronger than you? Can she make things happen that you don't want happening?"

"Yes sir" It was no more than a whisper.

"For your sake, I wonder, does she like you?"

"No sir." He sighed "It is a very serious violation of our school rules, what you did, but I won't punish you. It is your favorite book, is it not? Yes… I think suffering the consequences of your actions will be enough punishment... It's upon you to save canon. If your Mary-Sue is as strong as she sounds, if I were you I would pack a few necessary things in a backpack, most important a pen and a notebook, and make sure this backpack is **always** with me. You never know when one might transport into a another world, do you?"

**AN:** I thought I was very clever inventing the Language Magic but then I remembered Inkheart… oh well… I hope you enjoy this chapter! (And I'm looking for a Beta, a one that will be able to suffer my complete lack of knowledge of 'how things work when you have a beta').

Now! A creative way for asking for reviews:

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